Meet Chike, a 28-year-old communications specialist living in Lagos. He earns ₦500,000 monthly, which sounds like a dream to some. But for him, it’s survival money, not freedom money. In this interview, he opens up about losing his dad at a young age, the burden of responsibility, and how financial stress has shaped his mental health.
Tell me a bit about yourself.
I’m Chike. I grew up in Enugu but moved to Lagos after university. I studied Mass Communication and now work as a communications specialist for a tech company. People hear ₦500k and think I’m balling, but they don’t see what’s behind it. I’m the firstborn of four kids. I lost my dad when I was 14, so it’s been my mum and me holding the family down since then.
That must have been a lot for you at 14. How did losing your dad so young affect your outlook on money?
Everything changed. Before, I was just a boy. After he died, I became “the man of the house.” I saw my mum stretch ₦2,000 to cook soup for a week. I saw her cry when school fees were due. It wired me to believe that money is not just paper. Money is survival. Money is peace. Money is even love sometimes.
Please, walk me through your monthly expenses.
First thing is family. I send at least ₦100k home every month. My mum doesn’t work anymore, and my siblings are still in school. Rent is another story. I live in Surulere, and my rent is ₦1.2 million. If you divide that monthly, it’s ₦100k gone. Feeding? Lagos has finished us. If I don’t budget at least ₦80k, I’ll just be eating bread and eggs every day. Then there’s transport, airtime, random black tax— someone always has an emergency.
That sounds like a lot of pressure. How does it affect your mental health?
It’s heavy. Sometimes I wake up anxious before my alarm even rings. My mind starts calculating: “Who needs money today? How do I stretch this?” It feels like I’m carrying people’s destinies on my back. I can’t even be selfish with my money because guilt eats me alive. Therapy? I’ve thought about it, but how do I justify paying ₦80k per session when my sibling’s school fees are waiting?
Has this stress ever affected your relationships or friendships?
With family, it’s complicated. I love them, but I also feel trapped sometimes. Being the “man of the house” comes with invisible expectations. Even when nobody asks, I feel like I should provide. With friends, I withdraw when money is tight. They’ll say “Let’s hang out,” and I’ll make excuses because I don’t want to admit I can’t afford it.
Dating? That one almost broke me. I was with someone last year, and even though she wasn’t materialistic, I always felt inadequate. I hated when she offered to pay for things. I felt like less of a man. The stress killed the relationship more than any fight did.
Have you had a money experience you’ll never forget?
I have two. December 2023. My office delayed salaries till January. I had nothing. I borrowed transport money to go to work. I skipped meals. I couldn’t even go home for Christmas because I couldn’t afford the transport fare. I sat alone in my apartment on Christmas Day, scrolling Instagram and watching everyone else enjoy. That broke me. It wasn’t just being broke; it was the shame of not being able to show up for my family. Since then, December triggers me. I always feel this panic that it will happen again.
Also, April 2025. I got a call that my younger sister fainted in school. They needed money immediately for treatment. I had just paid rent, so my account was dry. I had to call three friends and practically beg. That night I couldn’t sleep. Not because of the emergency, but because I realised I don’t even have the luxury of saying “I don’t have.” That broke me.
With all this, how do you cope?
I write. I journal a lot. Sometimes I take long walks at night in Surulere, just to breathe. I also cut myself small slack by buying little things for me—like sneakers or a nice meal—because if I only pour into others, I’ll burn out. But the truth is, most days I’m just pushing.
Do you save and how much do you actually save now?
Honestly, it’s inconsistent. Some months I save ₦50k, some months zero. My goal is to have at least six months of expenses saved, but the reality is different. If I wasn’t responsible for family, maybe I’d save more. But that’s my life.
If you could tell young Nigerians one thing about money and mental health, what would it be?
Don’t kill yourself to look like you’re doing well. Lagos will pressure you, Instagram will deceive you, but at the end of the day, peace of mind is richer than any salary. Spend on yourself sometimes. Save when you can. And if you’re carrying people, remember you can only help if you’re still standing.
Lol, I should take my advice.