Tolu (26) is a media girl who returned to Nigeria in 2023 after her master’s in London. Joshua (29) is a civil engineer who’s lived in Lagos all his life. They met on Twitter in 2022 and built their love across screens. Now, they’re planning a wedding while navigating finances like true partners—one spreadsheet, one budget date, one dream at a time.
Let’s start from the beginning. How did you two meet?
Tolu: Twitter. Well, now X. He replied to one of my rants about Nigerian men with something annoyingly logical, and I just couldn’t scroll past. He was smart—like, distractingly smart. I was like, “Who is this one?” We kept going back and forth, and it moved to DMS and then WhatsApp.
Joshua: I wasn’t trying to be deep o. I just liked how bold and articulate she was. We went from replies to DMs to voice notes to long WhatsApp calls. That was July 2022.
And when did it become official?
Tolu: September 2022. We had this 3-hour call where he basically said, “Tolu, I really, really like you and I want to be with you.” I was silent for a bit and then he added, “Please say something.” I said something, because I really liked him too. Still do.
Joshua: She was in London, I was in Abuja but we decided to try. Daily calls, texts, Zoom movie nights, surprise picture and video drops. We were intentional. It wasn’t just love, it was effort and I just knew that I didn’t want to lose her.
What made you come back to Nigeria? Was it love?
Tolu: Honestly, he was part of it. But even before we met, I always planned to come back. London gave me education, but Nigeria still had my people, my stories, and my purpose. And a media startup in Lagos gave me an offer I couldn’t refuse. So, I moved in March 2023 and stayed with my aunt.
Joshua: I was excited about being in the same space with her. I picked her up from the airport. That hug? Top five moment of my life.
Awwn, God when? So, what changed when the relationship moved from long distance to physical?
Tolu: We had to meet the version of each other that lives offline. He wasn’t always composed like he was on video calls. Sometimes, he’d react to small things, and I’d be like, “Who is this?” But I also saw how thoughtful he is. He’d show up with pizza and ice cream after a tough day. He drove across town once just to see me for ten minutes.
Joshua: It became real. She wasn’t in London anymore, she was in my city, part of my daily life. We had misunderstandings—over time, attention, even food. But somehow, that made the connection deeper.
Okay, let’s talk about money. How did you start those conversations?
Tolu: We didn’t sit down and have a “money talk.” It just flowed. He’d pay for dinner, I’d buy us movie tickets. We were open about earnings early on. I told him something along the lines of, “I’m not here to drain you. Let’s build something that makes sense.”
Joshua: She wasn’t trying to impress me with spending or silence me with it either. She made budgeting feel like a love language. In September 2023, after our first year anniversary, we decided we wanted to get married to each other one day. So, we created a spreadsheet and started saving N300k each per month.
So, you guys plan your finances together?
Tolu: Yes, but we still have our personal savings and investments. Right now, the joint account is focused on wedding prep. I handle vendors and décor, he handles logistics and payments. We’re avoiding loans, so we budget down to the asoebi. We know family and friends will support, but we’re not counting on promises. We’re counting receipts.
Joshua: We also have a monthly “budget date.” We bring out pizza, ice cream and the spreadsheet—check what’s paid, what’s left, what dreams we can fit in. Sometimes we dream big, like “Paris honeymoon”, then laugh and write “South Africa… maybe.”
What financial values have helped your relationship the most?
Tolu: Transparency. If I blow cash on skincare, I tell him. No guilt. He lets me know when he’s tight and can’t do something fancy. No shame.
Joshua: And prioritising. We ask each other, “Does this serve us?” before spending. Love isn’t always about the biggest gestures, it’s about the consistency of showing up.
What’s one financial challenge you’ve faced?
Tolu: Hmmm, one I can remember recently. His car needed repairs in April. N400k just vanished. He couldn’t save N300k that month and it shook our plans. But we reminded ourselves, marriage is long. A good man with a bad car today is still a good man.
Tolu with the lines, I love it. As a couple, what are you looking forward to financially and romantically?
Tolu: Getting married in August. Living in the same house. Creating a soft life we can afford, filled with peace and presence.
Joshua: Everything she just said.
Any advice for couples navigating love and money?
Tolu: Talk early. Be honest about your money stories. It’s not about how much you have, but how you both choose to handle it.
Joshua: Save together. Spend with sense. Laugh often. And if you’re both broke one month—make noodles, light a candle, and call it dinner for two.